Game on!

So Little Billy is 3 weeks old now. Such a little champ of a baby.
We had some issues with Breast feeding as he had a tongue tie and upper lip tie so now I still breastfeed but I top up with formula every feed. Its a long process but it makes him happy and content and all he does is sleep!

I gave myself a week after the birth to not think about anything at all!

After that week I took my measurements and weighed myself and started my diet.  Unfortunately due to lack of sleep the diet has been wavering. The bulk of it is great, but I am looking for empty energy to help get me through. So biscuits and chocolate etc. Not good. Also doesn't help that I have had no down time as there has always been people here.  Today is the first day that the bigger boys are at day care and its just Billy and me.  I had to clean the house for an inspection this morning but now its just time to chill.

So the day I had Billy I weighed in at 90.5kg :( IT was way heavier than I was aiming but it what it is and it is now a starting point.

7 days post I weighed in at 85.4kg and have now dropped down to 84.4kg

I have started doing some exercises. Mainly focusing on pelvic floor and core exercises but I do also do some pushups, dips, squats and lunges.  Just trying to get some level of strength before I return to the gym.

Due to the drop in the level of breast feeding basically all I am doing is giving him a little for antibodies etc, I am going to drop my calorie intake as having 1800 a day will just make me gain weight. I will revise my diet today and see how I go.

This is my final pregnancy photo at 38+2 and 905.kg

This is my one week post photo on the 16/11/15 at 85.4kg

I feel so much flabbier now that the baby weight and fluid is gone.  I guess all that fluid was keeping it all reasonably firm.  I am trying to just focus on the positives and move forward and tackle it one day at a time.
It is so hard waiting to return to exercise though.  My body did bounce back and recover SO well this time I am busting to go for a run and get back into it all.  But I know better.  I know I need to allow my body to heal and it will be much better in the long run.  Patient is something I have never been though.

weigh and measure due again on the 16th.

The lifestyle change

I've been giving a lot of thought lately to the lifestyle change I want to make for myself and my family.

I have been doing Isagenix for a bit now and whilst I enjoy it and found it good, and I still plan on doing a 30day cleanse and regular cleanse days I don't think its the lifestyle I want to follow.  It will be great while nursing as the shakes are fine to use although that all depends on if the baby can handle the dairy side of it.

Once I finish breast feeding though I would like to change it all around a bit.  Do the 30day cleanse straight up but after that incorporate a more clean eating kinda paleo approach. I don't like the full idea of Paleo I think it has gone a little too far but the fundamentals of getting back to basics etc that is the direction I want to take my family.  Lots of fresh food.  This of course means I need to learn how to cook! my mum is British and is a meat and 3 veg kind of cook.  none of it was healthy fresh tasty food.  It usually involved salt and pepper, butter, a packet kinds of things to get flavor.  I have spoken to B about this and I am hoping for my Bday that is coming up he gets me a couple of Pete Evans books. I know the transition with the kids will be hard but I also want to look at getting them to help me prepare the food and also perhaps growing some of it so they can see and understand the whole process.

My 4yo is at that inquisitive age and I have told him chips and lollies are bad for him and he doesn't want them.  Now I just need to get what I cook and prepare to taste good and hopefully we all start eating better.

I also want to change my supplements once I finish breastfeeding and bring in a thermogenic protein powder after my morning workouts.  I might still keep the high protein isagenix one for night time to help increase my muscle gain but I am yet to nut this out. I will also bring back in my preworkout supplement and add a green tea extract to my breakfast smoothie.  I will start up L-carnitine again, and also considering some BCAA's this time. My plan is to really shred this time.

I am now 35+1 pregnant and we are down to 21days and he will be here.  My diet is relatively good, Ice cream seems to make a common appearance which is silly as I actually don't like ice cream I only ever eat it when pregnant! I have started walking regularly again and its certainly making me feel stronger and I actually don't even feel heavily pregnant which is amazing.

I have spoken to my OB about doing the triathlon coming up in Feb/march and he doesn't think there will be any issues with me doing it. YAY! Unless something drastic happens during the birth of course but fingers crossed it all goes smoothly.

I did up my weight loss journal the other day.  its for 12months and starts on the 16th Nov which is 7day post partum.  Of course I wont be full into it from the get go its more about diet and light incorporation of exercises to start with especially the pelvic floor ones.

It goes in monthly step by steps, I will weigh and measure monthly, put in photos each month and outline my diet and exercise. I have extra pages in there for me to write down what is working and what isn't. Jot down what happened on a day I might fall off the wagon etc.

I learnt a lot last time regarding weight loss and I know I can definitely do that again.  This time I want to learn out to cook and eat for a full lifestyle change and also learn how to tone and sculpt efficiently.

I am excited to get back to the gym soon, probably wont be for another 2 months at least with recovery and getting baby to sleep etc but its all getting closer.

This is my journal so far, my diet and exercise is a scribble at the moment I will finalise it in the next week or so.

48 days to go

Well yet again its been ages and its simply because I am continually chasing my tail.  I don't really have time to blog today but I really want to so I am.

I am now 31+4 weeks pregnant and only 48days until induction.

I have managed 2 walks in the last 2 months and that is it.  Just when Z started sleeping through and I thought yay I can actually get up at 4:30 and go for a walk then bam we all get this annoying head cold which is more like hay fever on steroids and their sleeping goes to crap again. I have been thinking I will go during the day during nap and quiet time but I get so busy it just doesn't happen then either.  With 48days go to and a to do list over 2 pages long and some how getting bigger every day I simply do not have enough hours in my day.

So time to check in.  Due to the minimal or complete lack of exercise :( I have been gaining more weight than I would have liked.  I actually started Isagenixs at around 20weeks and I have been finding it great :) I have been trying to do 2 shakes, one bar, lunch and 1 snack. Most days I am fine others in all honesty just don't happen.

In total I have now gained 15kg!  Not bad considering the early weight gain. Still 5 kg over my max gain for the pregnancy though and what worries me is being in the last 10weeks my body can go crazy with fluid gain :( Doing this now though I am hoping to continue to hold myself accountable for these last 6 weeks and not gain any more unnecessary kgs!

This is the before pic at 69kg

This is today at 31+4 85kg

I know I am not doing that bad but I worked so hard to get where I was and the loss of muscle tone and fitness is something I am struggling to deal with :( I really miss exercise.

48days to go though and bubba boy will be here. I still have 6 weeks recovery on top of that though. I just want to go for a run! patience! hmmm not something I have ever been very good with.

I am also looking forward to putting more into the isagenix and doing it properly.  I stalled at 69kg before I fell pregnant which I found very frustrating.  Once I finish up breast feeding and I can do cleanse days etc I am excited to see what my body can achieve.  I am thinking for motivation I will do the isabody challenge for weight loss to start and then after that I think there is another one u can do for muscle gain or something.  Basically I know I have to start from the beginning. :( build up that base level of fitness and muscle whilst losing the excess weight.  Once down to the healthy weight range I can focus on losing the last bits of fat but really building the muscle and sculpting and toning.
At least this time I know I will never be falling pregnant again so there is now no limit on how far I can push my body and I can't wait to see what I can achieve :) I am excited to see what the next 12months will bring for my health, fitness and body :)

All this while my family grows and we move onto the next stage of our lives beyond new borns and toddlers :) I really am so excited to see what the future will bring :)

I think I am actually getting some of my mojo back.  Being pregnant really takes it out of you physically and emotionally. I know how lucky I am to have my 4 boys and appreciate that I was able to fall pregnant but being pregnant isn't something I particularly enjoy. I know you are supposed to but its not all glamour and glowing like they make out.  I happily give up my body for 10months plus breast feeding to grow my boys and give them absolutely everything they need but I do look forward to having my body back.

The new born stage isn't particularly enjoyable either.  Its a lot of hard work with no return.  Once baby hits about 4 months things start picking up.  Most people wont tell u this and understandably or we would never have kids lol. But knowing all this I am so completely and utterly overjoyed my family is complete and we are moving onto the next phase in our lives.

Once baby boys arrives though I do plan on keeping this updated more regularly so I can really document my journey :) I am really determined to reach the goal I have always had set out for myself but keep hitting road blocks every time I fall pregnant.  not this time! bring it on!

Frustrated but improving

3 weeks since my last post and I've managed 1 walk. My boys have been sick most of the time since that first walk and I haven't had much sleep. 

My weight has gone up to 84.3kg. Agh. I have been eating much better the last week really sticking to the plan. I just wish the weight would stop creeping on. 

I took some progress photos. 

The main thing that bothers me is lack I muscle but with no real exercise and absolutely no weight training there is no chance I will gain any from here until I start up again.

This was pre-preg at 69kg

This is 25weeks and 84kg 

Again my goals are to go for a walk every day. I set my alarm every night it all just depends on the kids and how they sleep. 

Also to eat well and stick to my diet plan. 

The Rollercoaster that is life

So things have turned around a lot since my last post.
B FINALLY listened to me. He has admitted he has a problem and is going to get help! I can imagine its going to be a long slow process but its a start!

This have been so much better all around because of it.  He realised what I meant by being lonely and since he is always at work the rest falls on me.  Just having him listen to that and try to understand it was so important.

Anyway a million times less stress going on.

unfortunately though my healthy eating and exercise still isn't going well.  I mentioned about getting worried bub was small. Well he has something called marginal cord insertion where instead of the cord inserting in the center of the placenta it has inserted 1-2cm from the edge.  Now this may not be an issue at all but it has been known to be associated with IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction).  Normally this doesn't become apparent until the 3rd trimester but as he did have that drop in growth between 14 and 20weeks its showing to have some affect on the amount of nutrients he is getting.  He is staying on the 40th percentile at the moment and I am due to see my OB again on the 10th.  We are hoping he stays on this growth curve which is perfectly fine. He will be closely monitored though and if he does start dropping and gets below that 10th percentile it might mean an early delivery.

My OB has said its perfectly fine for me to keep exercising and running.  I just haven't been.  I set my alarm for every morning and every morning I turn it off :( I will keep trying though and its always the first one that is the hardest.
The eating though is a different story.  I am eating reasonably healthy its just the snacking as I feel like I need to be doing something to help him grow so I constantly eat.  Ultimately I know it makes no difference and its just going to my arse but its just that need to feel like I am doing something.

Every day I am making small steps though a little healthier a little more sleep a little more energy and eventually I will get it right.  Every little bit of progress is still progress.

Due to the increased eating though I have unfortunately gone up to 82kg! Again its just a matter of trying to maintain it here. The last few days have been really good so I just have to try and keep it up and definitely have to get out for that morning walk.

My body really struggles in winter.  I think its that missing Vit D from the summer sun.  I tried to get out side and get a bit of sun this morning. Hopefully it helps a bit.

My goals for the next week. Eat healthy and snack on less rubbish food and get out for that morning walk at least once!

Stress and cortisol

One definitely can not underestimate the impact of stress and in turn cortisol on weight loss.

I've been under a lot of stress lately. In short B has been smoking majurana again on a daily basis this time and I'm too exhausted to continually fight these addiction issues he has and mix with that this business and him always being at work and me being a single parent to 3 kids 3 and under and pregnant. B and I have barely spoken in months, and when we do it's fighting. Ultimately my marriage is pretty much over. I can't keep forcing something to work that just isn't.

I have no support network around me so all this is just building and building the stress. Most days I feel like I'm drowning. 

Yesterday was one of thes days so I comfort ate and ate :( I was too tired and exhausted to care. 

Stress increases ur levels of cortisol which changes the way u store fat leading u to store more which also increases ur appetite so u eat more and it goes round and round leading to weight gain. 

Anyway I feel a bit better today still tired and my head feels foggy and mentally spent but I'm feeling stronger about my direction and I'm eating well. 

I still have my goal in my mind. I still want to get to my peak fitness and sculpt. 

This is of course on hold while pregnant so I'm focusing on eating well and trying to exercise regularly. 

Being the single parent of 3 little ones is also making it extremely hard to exercise. 

I miss the high intensity exercise. It's my meditation. I enjoy the weights and the changes it was making to my body but I love the running. I have the Treadmil in the garage but I barely make the gym :( this bothers me. 

Bubs will be here in about 18 weeks. Then there is about 6 weeks recovery and I can start to get back into it. 

There are a couple of think pink triathlons at the beginning of next year I might be able to do. I might just look at doing the short distances just to get back into it but still do something. The hardest part with this is having someone to watch the kids. Again that single parent thing. 

Being on hold from ur goal whilst trying to stay on track to it is hard. Makes it all feel so far away but it's for a wonderful reason and I am looking forward to baby boy getting here just with everything going on it's certainly hard to tread water. 

I've been thinking of setting my full gym up again. B sold all my equipment as I hadn't used it but that's because I had been trying to conceive for so long and miscarriages and pregnant etc. I do like going to the gym though it's nice to get out of the house but if I just never make it what is the point? Like now for example the two youngest are napping and the eldest has quiet time I could do a work out now. I can't go to the gym but I could do something here at home. 

Something to think about anyway. Once bub is here and I can do the 4:30am thing again it might be fine. 

I can do this! 

its been a long time

wow its been a long time
So I am 20weeks pregnant now and finally out of the morning sickness and migraine hell that I was in.
Unfortunately in those first 16weeks that were REALLY bad I ate heavy carbs to try and keep the nausea at bay, I didn't go to the gym as I was too tired and sick, and it led to weight gain :(

I started running up again about 3 weeks ago but its few and far between. The boys have all been sick and then I get sick, they aren't sleeping and the last few weeks I am lucky to get 4 hours sleep.

I got myself a fitbit surge though and I am tracking what I eat and although not perfect its way better than it was and I keep it under the 1800 cal recommended.
So although I can't always exercise I am keeping on top of the diet.

So all up I have gained 9kg in 20weeks.  agh! My biggest concern is that I lost a lot of muscle and gained a lot of fat. I am going to keep plugging away though.  I currently have strep throat and am on antibiotics and I have a cold with a really chesty cough so I am off exercise this week.  Normally I would exercise through it but not while pregnant.

Also I had my morphology scan last week and very excited to say its another boy.  When I found out I was a little sad it wasn't a girl but I always very quickly realise why I am a mum to boys.  During this scan though I found out he is growing a bit small.  he was measuring a week ahead and is now a week behind.  I have had a niggling feeling something was wrong and my not growing bump was worrying me and to have it confirmed during a scan has me a little worried.  Hopefully he was just due to go through a growth spurt but I am dropping back in my exercise until I see my OB next week and get the all clear all is OK. If there is a growth problem or placenta or something I don't want to make it all worse by exercising.

These are my progress photos.
before 70kg

14weeks 78kg

20weeks 79kg

Looking at these photos I can see the fluid in my face so my body must be holding onto more than I thought.  I am still in size 12 clothes which is good.  I would like to maintain this weight now until bub is born.  I would also like to increase my exercise to 5-6 times a week.  A couple of run, some weights and the elliptical.  Its just a matter of fitting it in as my 4:30am time slot doesn't work at the moment as my 15month old refuses to sleep at this time now.